Let's think today

Today I was thinking about all the things I'm responsible for in my home. I also was thinking about all the hobbies I'm into and I just don't like the fact that some of them have to take the back burner for others. I love Lolita, Bjds, Cosplay, and TCGs. I have been trying to move for a while now and its really taking a toll on me now. I feel I have aged about 10 years just trying to move and dealing with the people i deal with everyday. The fact that others come to me with their problems for my help and I can't is hard. when I say I can't i mean I can't they wont listen they will turn the tables so i can end up helping them and not even getting help for myself. Sometimes I don't even know why I even bother to begin with. Its to the point where I feel I must have done something in the pass to be going through something like this. I just don't know. I haven't cried in so long I'm unsure if I can even do that anymore. I'm doing things now that I never thought I would. I stop eating meats, I try to work more, I'm even trying to not say everything that's on my mind. I'm even trying to let shit go from my pass and from shit that is going on from day to day. I just don't have not one idea why i'm going to through so much. I feel as if I'm in a room and I'm screaming to the top of my lungs and no cares, they look at me but they just don't give a fuck. It sucks to feel so lone.

In the end I am strong and I will over come all of this no matter what. I will get to where I need to be. I will move on and start my life over. I will be happy and I will get my life in order so my happiness will roll in. I am a fighter and I will fight until the day I die for all the things that make me happy. I don't care if no one will listen to me. I don't care about being in this room and screaming while everyone over looks me. One day you will see me. One day you will listen to me. One day you will hear my cries and on that day I will no longer need you or anyone else. On that day I will walk out with my head up high and sun shining in my face. On that day I will turn around and help someone else that is in my shoes to stand up with me so the sun will be in their face. This place that we are in its not nice its lonely it hurts and a place where we are only for a short time. Until I come out of this room the world will be waiting for me and I am waiting for the world and when we meet only the sky is the limit.